I Think I’m Alone Now

I hope enough time has passed to where I can write on here again without many people knowing and that all of my haters have moved on.  I need to go and delete all of my past blog links I shared on Twitter.  I’ve been doing so well lately that any slight indication of a toxic situation makes me physically ill.  I’m sure I’ve over exaggerated some situations that are probably not true but I believe that is part of my healing process.  As I go through my healing journey, I’m starting to value more good things in my life...people, places, things.  I’ve also been extremely sensitive to the energy around me.  I understand more the importance of making a good impression.  I regret all the times I lost control of my emotions.  I want to set a good example and for people feel comfortable enough to trust me.

I’ve been working on making new things for my shop.  I made a bunch of bracelets and tweaked a couple necklace designs.  It is always good to clean up and reorganize your shop every once in awhile.  It is funny to notice how much my taste has changed through the years.  Overall still the same but now I am making more items that I would actually wear instead of just putting stuff together because it looks good or the colors match.  Below is a pic of some of the bracelets I made.  I got a really nice email from one of customers today thanking me for her stuff and how much she likes them.  It totally made my night as I was so tired coming home from work today.  I took a day off last week and was slammed with emails this morning.  

I think I’m going to try and go to bed early tonight.  I know I say that every night but I’m really going to try this time.  It just helps me function better during the day.  Like right now I feel kinda down.  I haven’t checked any of my socials.  All I want to do is mind my own business, engage with good genuine people, and for toxic people to leave me alone.  I better go now because I can feel myself headed towards a ranting session.

I hope in a few months or years I will look back to see how much more I’ve grown as a person.  I’m sure I have since I last wrote 2 years ago but I am not ready to read stuff from that time frame yet.  When I am able to read it without cringing, I will know that I have healed.

I will write when I can.  No more themes or topics like before.  Just whatever comes up in my mind.  For some reason I get more random sales when I post an entry.  Maybe it boosts the traffic searches to my shop. Good night cyber world 😴🌎 

As One Door Closes...

Every year around this time I reflect on everything that has happened during the year.  This year has definitely been one of my most transformative years.  I have learned so much and feel like for the first time in a long time I am feeling good about life again.  From last year being one of the worst years of my life to this year being one of the best years of my life.  The one thing I want to document for future reference is that if I want to start seeing CHANGE the most important thing to do is to just START!  Things will eventually take off after that but you have to be willing to take that first step.  And the universe will always guide you in the right direction.  I 100 million percent believe that whatever you focus your time and energy on is how your life is going to be at the moment.  Of course there will always be bad days but the key is to see it as it is...a bad day and not a reflection of your life as a whole.  I’m excited to start the next chapter of my life as I continue to focus on being more proactive rather than reactive.  Thank you God for giving me another year of life.💝

Unlearning

It seems like the more life experiences we go through the more traits we develop to cope with each situation.  Including the traits we develop through our interaction with others.  Good people and good situations help inspire us to become better people and it is very important to have them in our lives.  But I have found that negative situations and having the wrong people in your life can cause us to experience more significant changes.  If we are lucky we will eventually become stronger and wiser because of them.  Negative experiences can lead us to say or do things that we never thought possible.  They can suck the life out of us and at the time we think that we will never get out of that situation.  But life is ever changing.  It may remove us from the bad situation or person but if we don’t consciously let go of what is holding us back then it will almost always come back to haunt us through a similar situation until we finally learn to let go.  Stuff like trying to compete or one up others or making others look bad so you look better...toxic shit.  It takes you away from your true authentic self because instead of trying to become a better version of yourself, you are basically trying to become a better version of someone else!  To break away you have to somehow get yourself into the mindset that your life will become better once you do things that are in line with your destiny.  Sometimes it takes an unexpected tragedy or turn of events to trigger you to finally wake up and realize your fuck ups which can eventually help you to learn and grow.  Once you hit that point you will have no interest looking back.  You “unlearn” these bad habits and slowly start to feel like yourself again but this time with the added bonus of all the strength and wisdom that you’re accumulated.🧘🏻‍♀️