I Think I’m Alone Now

I hope enough time has passed to where I can write on here again without many people knowing and that all of my haters have moved on.  I need to go and delete all of my past blog links I shared on Twitter.  I’ve been doing so well lately that any slight indication of a toxic situation makes me physically ill.  I’m sure I’ve over exaggerated some situations that are probably not true but I believe that is part of my healing process.  As I go through my healing journey, I’m starting to value more good things in my life...people, places, things.  I’ve also been extremely sensitive to the energy around me.  I understand more the importance of making a good impression.  I regret all the times I lost control of my emotions.  I want to set a good example and for people feel comfortable enough to trust me.

I’ve been working on making new things for my shop.  I made a bunch of bracelets and tweaked a couple necklace designs.  It is always good to clean up and reorganize your shop every once in awhile.  It is funny to notice how much my taste has changed through the years.  Overall still the same but now I am making more items that I would actually wear instead of just putting stuff together because it looks good or the colors match.  Below is a pic of some of the bracelets I made.  I got a really nice email from one of customers today thanking me for her stuff and how much she likes them.  It totally made my night as I was so tired coming home from work today.  I took a day off last week and was slammed with emails this morning.  

I think I’m going to try and go to bed early tonight.  I know I say that every night but I’m really going to try this time.  It just helps me function better during the day.  Like right now I feel kinda down.  I haven’t checked any of my socials.  All I want to do is mind my own business, engage with good genuine people, and for toxic people to leave me alone.  I better go now because I can feel myself headed towards a ranting session.

I hope in a few months or years I will look back to see how much more I’ve grown as a person.  I’m sure I have since I last wrote 2 years ago but I am not ready to read stuff from that time frame yet.  When I am able to read it without cringing, I will know that I have healed.

I will write when I can.  No more themes or topics like before.  Just whatever comes up in my mind.  For some reason I get more random sales when I post an entry.  Maybe it boosts the traffic searches to my shop. Good night cyber world 😴🌎 

10 Years

Long time no write!  Today I just want to document the 10 year anniversary of when I opened up my Etsy shop.  I wasn’t going to say anything because I’ve been inactive but then I saw a post on Instagram earlier today from a poet that posted a pic of herself and informed all of us that none of her family and friends know that she has that account and that she started writing again.  I totally understand where she is coming from.  Whether we want to admit it or not, other people ruin beautiful things.  Sometimes when we get a lot of exposure there is a lot of noise and we lose the core essence of why we started.  I’ve undergone a lot of changes since I last wrote.  Things in my life have definitely gotten better.  I’m in a good place but still struggling with some things.  Mostly with unlearning thoughts and behaviors I’ve developed while I was going through tough times.  But it seems the more I distance myself from toxic environments, the better my life becomes.  I can actually feel myself become physically ill when I’m around it now or when something triggers me.  The healing process is very lonely because only you know what is truly right for you but if you have something to believe in whether it is God or any guiding force to help you through, it will give you a sense of comfort.  I feel like I lost a lot of friends or people I thought were friends.  But there are a handful of friends that I truly cherish with all my heart.  This has been a very strange year.  The pandemic has forced us all to slow down and appreciate the simple things.  It has brought out sides in people that has never been shown before.  I don’t think anything will ever be the same again but that could eventually be a good thing.  There has to be balance for anything to work.  I’ve been doing a lot of purging, just getting rid of a lot of old junk and clothes.  It feels really good, the more I get rid of stuff the more energy I have.  I got rid of all the craft and jewelry supplies I know I will never use and keep only the ones I will use.  It makes things less overwhelming and more organized so that I have the motivation to create again.  I’ve also been keeping physically active since I last wrote.  Mostly walking and riding my bike.  And trying to eat healthy.  I have lost over 20 pounds but now it seems like I’ve hit a plateau.  Should I blame it on the pandemic?  Probably because that was when things started to slow down.  Oh well, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing and I am okay with where I’m at.  Overall things have been great for me and my family.  I get to work from home most days of the week and only go in to the office twice a week.  This has saved money on gas and the stress of getting up to get ready in the mornings and especially all the bad traffic!  I hope this becomes a permanent option for us, I don’t see very many people wanting to head back to office life anytime soon.  

That’s all I have for now.  I will definitely add more things to my shop soon.  I am going to make some bracelets today even if I don’t post any yet.  The nice thing about this business is that I can come and go as I please and things still pick up when I’m active again.  Here is a bracelet I made yesterday for the 4th.  The bracelet stones are made of labradorite which is a stone of transformation, strength, and perseverance and butterflies to me represent transformation and freedom.  Butterflies aren’t usually my favorite but they have been significant in my life such as when I got a butterfly tattoo a year after my divorce and how I chose to build my house in the Monarch subdivision.  

Until next time, whenever that is😅