All We Have is Time

This week went by so fast it doesn’t even seem like a Friday.  I added a couple new items on Etsy yesterday and will keep adding more to build up to at least 50 items.  Right now I only have 27 items.  I’m still looking for a good laptop.  I usually have a hard time deciding because I want to make sure I am getting the best quality at a reasonable cost.  This Sunday 14th is my Dad’s 73rd birthday.  I’m knitting him a beanie.  He likes dark neutral colors so I think he will like this one.  Hopefully I get it done in time.  

I can’t help but think about how much longer I have with my parents ever since my MIL died😢.  I love them both so much, it is one of my greatest fears to lose them.  I don’t want to see them suffer or be in any kind of pain or to never see them again.  Who knows if there really is an afterlife?!  I would like to think there actually is a heaven or some kind of spiritual kingdom once we cross over.  It just seems like there has to be something more after we die because of how complicated human intelligence and emotions are.  It just doesn’t seem possible that all of that suddenly ends after we die.  Maybe a discussion in a future post.  Have a great weekend you all!🧐

Messages From The Other Side

This Saturday will be 2 weeks since my mother in laws passing.  Since that time we have already received messages from her.  Whether you believe in that kind of stuff or not, the coincidences are just uncanny.  Most of the time you have to be open to receiving the messages.  Since I already had a close friend who passed, I was open to receiving and was able to pick up on my MIL’s messages.  The day after she died we went back to her apartment to start clearing out stuff.  My husband asked me if he thinks his mom will ever try to contact him.  J is aware of all the feathers I came across after my friend died but wondered if there was anything else.  I told him to watch for anything that comes up that reminds him of her and that it will be pretty obvious.  And sure as shit not a few minutes later one of her favorite tv shows Dr. Who comes on while I digging through her sewing box.  Right at the same time I came across an old newspaper clipping of her engagement announcement to someone that J doesn’t even know with a picture of her on it that was hidden in between some blank folded up papers.  This was significant because one of the things we used to talk about a lot was all of her failed engagements, she was engaged 8 times!  

Then on Thanksgiving I came across this on Pinterest.  The date written on the page was the day she died 11/18/17.  

And don’t get me started on the necklace!  This was definitely a message from her.  It almost made me cry because despite being in and out of many bad relationships, I know deep down in her heart she was a true romantic.  And I also think in a way she was trying to apologize for coming in between J and I for so long.  There are other things such as the feather we found by our mailbox the other day and some strange whooshing noises coming through the phone while J was talking to the funeral director at the mortuary.  Then yesterday my MIL’s cat knocked down an empty cremation urn that we had sitting on top of the counter.  She was probably trying to tell J to get with it and turn in the cremation paperwork!

So even though it has been rough, there is comfort in knowing that she is still with us somehow.  All we got to do is believe.🧚🏼‍♀️

Unlearning

It seems like the more life experiences we go through the more traits we develop to cope with each situation.  Including the traits we develop through our interaction with others.  Good people and good situations help inspire us to become better people and it is very important to have them in our lives.  But I have found that negative situations and having the wrong people in your life can cause us to experience more significant changes.  If we are lucky we will eventually become stronger and wiser because of them.  Negative experiences can lead us to say or do things that we never thought possible.  They can suck the life out of us and at the time we think that we will never get out of that situation.  But life is ever changing.  It may remove us from the bad situation or person but if we don’t consciously let go of what is holding us back then it will almost always come back to haunt us through a similar situation until we finally learn to let go.  Stuff like trying to compete or one up others or making others look bad so you look better...toxic shit.  It takes you away from your true authentic self because instead of trying to become a better version of yourself, you are basically trying to become a better version of someone else!  To break away you have to somehow get yourself into the mindset that your life will become better once you do things that are in line with your destiny.  Sometimes it takes an unexpected tragedy or turn of events to trigger you to finally wake up and realize your fuck ups which can eventually help you to learn and grow.  Once you hit that point you will have no interest looking back.  You “unlearn” these bad habits and slowly start to feel like yourself again but this time with the added bonus of all the strength and wisdom that you’re accumulated.🧘🏻‍♀️